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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?